The Silent Cry Of The Unborn Girl Child By Amit Kumar Singh

October 20, 2013

My mother was lying on the operation table, covering a green blanket, screaming out loud in pain. She was relentlessly requesting my papa not to kill me but he turned a deaf ear to her helpless cries. He was consoling her to abort me and they can have a son soon. In the mean time the doctor arrived and examined my mother, pressing her stomach slowly. I realized that in a few minutes I am going to meet my doom.  I could hear the clings of surgical instruments kissing each other…weapons preparing for my infanticide. I started shivering inside my mother’s womb. I tried to escape, but the umbilical cord that attached me with my mother restrained me. The moment doctor started the operation, trying to insert the speculum; I tried hard to crawl away deeper inside. I squeezed myself, wrapping my tender legs and by burying my head between my hands. I was crying. My two month old home was submerged completely. The evil doctor was surprised by the unwanted outflow of water. He was demanding for more cotton to soak it. But how could I tell him that it was none of his new medical phenomenon of which he was not aware of or not anyone of his new discoveries that he could use as his next research, possibly but those were my tears that I was shedding incessantly from inside in pain and fear .

Suddenly a feeble voice echoed in my ears, “Dear, what happened, why are you so afraid?” it was God who asked me. “They are going to kill me and I wonder what my mistake is?” I asked dolefully. “It’s not your mistake my child. Humans always fail to interpret my gifts” god replied. “Stop boasting yourself, I am going to die before seeing this world, before seeing my mother who conceived me for so long and you are blabbering some nonsense about human nature.” I started crying again. “Ok…but u must stop crying baby” God replied. “I can’t …..I want to see my mother. I want to see this world.” I lamented.  No one understands other than God. He presented me one hour to see the outside world. Suddenly a small plastic tube entered, almost reaching me and the machine, aspirator was started…

Few hours later I found myself outside. I looked at my mother who was lying on the bed. She was looking as charming as I had always imagined. Her watery eyes were speaking how much pain she had to undergo in such a traumatic phase where she was losing her own part. I wanted her to take me in her lap, embrace me affectionately and feed me with her divine milk. I too wanted to touch her, curdle in her lap and grow up holding her tender fingers. But the train of my thoughts halted when I was wrapped in a poly bag. I shouted loud but perhaps it was not loud enough to reach the hard shelled human ears. I was then thrown into a river along with several more exterminated friends of mine. Few fell inside the water and few on the bank who became a one- time meal for the stray dogs. I was floating, running my eyes to flash every fruits of this wonderful world…

Suddenly I saw a newspaper too floating beside me.  The headline said, “SIX YEAR OLD GIRL MOLESTED AND LEFT TO DIE”. I was dumbfounded for a moment. Then I read the entire news which said that the dead body of a six year old girl was found in an abandoned building. After medical tests it was found that she had been molested and was then murdered. Police investigated the matter seriously and found the culprit was none other than her own uncle. I was jolted and a sudden unusual chillness gripped me. I wondered how anyone could rape a six year old girl. I started flowing with the current again…

After sometime I got stuck in a log floating in the river. I tried my best to escape but I was helpless. In the mean time I heard two women talking at the bank of the river while washing clothes. One woman said that Mr. Rout murdered his wife. When the other woman enquired the reason behind it, she replied that since the girl had not brought the entire dowry that they had demanded, they killed her barbarically. She also said that they had set her on fire and bribed the police inspector who changed the murder into a mere case of accident. I managed to escape and started flowing again with a heavier heart. It really surprised me that human beings value money more than life and a husband who is ought to shower love on his wife is killing the same for dowry

The waves of river were carrying me far and far. I was passing through mangroves, enjoying the greenery when I suddenly heard a screaming. I stopped there and tried to see through the trees. Soon I found a half naked girl being surrounded by few brutes. Some of them were showering lewd comments on her, while some were trying their level best to undress her while few others were laughing at her doom. Suddenly one tall fellow came forward and tore her dress leaving her completely naked. He was acting like a raving lunatic and was laughing madly like anything. The poor girl was crying loud and was trying hard to hide herself with every bit of her torn cloth that she could find lying scattered around her. She was shouting for help and requesting those beasts to leave her, but none of them heard her plea. Within no time she had been raped, one after the other, each one of them was thrusting over her. She was screaming in pain and was bleeding profusely. Few of the bastards were busy shooting her naked video and few were teasing her by dropping lit cigarettes over her naked body. After some time her body turned cold, hand and legs were stretched, the finger tips bent and her eye lids down casted to half mast. She became unconscious failing to withstand the pain and humiliation.

It felt like I had been struck by a bolt from the blue. White rage filled me. I tried to kill them all but I was helpless. Now I understood why my parents were trying to kill me. I could do nothing except weeping.

Oh God I beg before you, please kill me. I neither want to live nor do I want to take birth again as a girl in this patriarchal society where girls are treated so brutally every day. I wish my birth was my choice. PLEASE…PLEASE KILL ME.

Brightness engulfed my power of vision the moment I opened my eyes. Even the pupils of my eyes took few more seconds to contract and enable my eyes to see through the brightness. Suddenly a known voice thud my ear, “welcome to Heaven”. I turned and found God standing right at my back.

“So…now you understood why your father wanted to kill you?” God asked me. He waved his magical wand in the air and a big box appeared. He unlocked it and selected a bottle out of the many which were arranged in their chronological order. The moment he opened the cap of the bottle, a small flame of fire escaped out. Within few seconds, the same flame turned into a young girl. “Who is she?” I asked in astonishment. “One of my favourite souls, a real fighter”, God replied. “She is the victim of the recent gang rape at Delhi and I want you to meet her”, he added.

“Lots of unfulfilled desires…dreams that I had seen in my father’s eyes were still to be achieved…. but I closed my eyes”, few drops of tears rolled down her eyes. “I am sorry didi. Please don’t be sad”, I said. “I am not sad for what happened to me but I will be sad if this blazing fire is turned off…My death shouldn’t go to waste. The trauma I have gone through, the blood I have shed in pain, drops of the tears that drained from my mother’s eyes shouldn’t go in vain…it should bring justice to me and to thousands of innocent girls who happen to get tortured in every corner of this country. This protest is not for hanging few animals who raped me but to bring security, equality and respect for women.”

God said “If parents will be afraid of giving birth to girls and if girls like you will say that they don’t want to be born, then who will carry on my fight there….this is not the battle of an individual, it is the battle of the whole humanity against barbarism, against disrespect to women and this time I too will not stop and let anyone to stop before achieving justice”.

“Go girl…go as my messenger”.




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